Reality check

Sometimes I forget that ignoring reality does not change reality. Ignoring what I eat, how much money I don't have, other people's feelings etc. doesn't fix or change anything. It's important to "man up" and accept what is going on in your life, even if it seems horrible and overwhelming. Nothing will change if I plug my ears and close my eyes to my life. So what is the reality?

-- I have $5 in my bank account and rent is due in two days. So are my credit card payments. 

--I have around $5,000 in credit card debt and I still buy things that I don't need because I think it will make me feel better

--I am consistently overeating/binging. It is another avenue of self-hate that needs to stop

--I am not treating other people like they are people. They have feelings too. They can hurt, feel ashamed, angry, and annoyed. Do not forget this. 

--I am compromising my values and morals in an effort to be liked by others. Never, never do this. You are enough and if someone doesn't think you are enough, fuck them. 

--I have lost credibility by being inconsistent and flaky 

--I do not have a job, I am not making money. I have quit more jobs then I have kept. I jump around because I get bored or it interferes with my Routine and I quit so I can maintain the structure of my "life". 

--I have lived in San Diego one year and right months and I have experienced and seen very little of it

 All of these problems seem overwhelming. But when I take a second look I realize that all of them CAN be solved. Change your actions, change your life. Don't be a spectator. Do something. You are so strong and fierce.